


3 weeks later

by memes4ballum



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Ballum Christmas (Eastenders), Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22153681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memes4ballum/pseuds/memes4ballum
Summary: Ben sees Callum for the first time since he arrived back on the square, and in that moment, those few seconds, all those emotions and feelings came rushing back to him. Callum casually walked out of the funeral parlour, oblivious to Ben watching him and Ben knew he had to talk to him and explain.
Relationships: Ben Mitchell/Lexi Pearce, Ben Mitchell/Lola Pearce, Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	3 weeks later

Ben nervously walked up to Callum and asked him for a chat

'I, I was wondering if I could talk to you' 

Callum nodded his head with a look of disinterest but agrees, and they then walk silently to the childrens play park and sit down on the swings. There were mixed emotions at first - awkwardness, nervousness...guilt, but Ben suddenly plucked up the courage and talked to Callum.

'You know when you tried to hurt yourself with a bottle here a few months back?'

Callum sits on the swing rolling his eye thinking it's some sort of wind up, and is ready to get up and leave.

'Well, I've been hurting too. Ive been... going out getting getting drunk, not knowing who or what I am, just trying to forget-'

Callum then quickly interrupts 'forget what? Me?' 

"No...I dont know... Ive done some pretty bad things Callum, im not a good person and that's exactly why I had to break up with you. Im just glad you got away from here for a bit so you didnt have to see me, I- I wouldve just pushed you away even further. The reason I wanted to chat to you was-"

Callum then interrupts "Ben you keep saying you're a bad person, but I dont believe you. I would never have fallen for you if I didnt believe that...if I didnt see good in you. The way you smile, the way you are with me, and Lexi..and Lola and even your mum."

Ben sits listening to every word wondering why hasnt Callum given up on him already.

"Yeah I know you're a Mitchell and it's in your blood but you can change, no matter how much people say you cant, I believe you can!" 

"But I cant change, Callum. Okay? I broke your heart? I chose my dad over you. I chose his problems, over you, okay I had to put family first - and its cost me a HELL of a lot. It cost me you" 

Ben instantly realised what he'd just said. He was honest, he didnt intend to be, but it just came out. Ben then panicked and immediately acted like he didnt care 

"Look I-I dont even know why you're sat here now"

"Yeah me either, look... Ben, I tried to forget about you, even if it was for 3 weeks. I met a few blokes and made a few friendships along the way, and I had a great time... but I didnt even know if I shouldve came back, not after everything you said. But my lifes here, my job, Stu, I even thought you were in my life."

Callums eyes start to fill up with tears and he continued  
"But even if you're not in my life anymore I have to move on...look Ben, all I wanted to do now is thank you. You changed me, You made me be who I wanted to be, and not who my dad or Stu wanted me to be. So I just wanted to say thank you and I guess this is "Goodbye"

Callum walks away from the swings, from Ben, and slowly leaves the park. This then makes Ben realise he's already lost Callum once, he couldnt possibly cope with seeing him day in, day out, in the square, in The Vic, anywhere - whilst his heart is breaking over him.

In that moment, a light switched in Ben, and he realised he had to be honest. He let his guard down and realised he couldnt lie anymore, Callum simply had to know how he felt.

"Is this it for us? Whatever we are?" Ben says

Callum then stops and turns around, and looks at Ben. Ben can see so clearly the tears that are filling Callum's eyes, and how much it must be breaking him to walk away.

"Because Callum...I missed you" Just as Ben said that his heart began to beat faster and faster. There was no going back for Ben, he knew what he had to say.

"I missed you! And yeah I was busy with my dad and Christmas and everything that I had to do, and I've made huge, unforgivable mistakes, some of which I cant even begin to forgive myself for - but...there was something i was missing."

Ben and Callum then look each other in the eyes and the tears in Ben's eyes begin to flow and suddenly everything felt so real. They were looking each other in the eyes that they can see each other so clearly with. Ben then walked closer to Callum and said

"You werent here..."

"You werent here and I know that it was my fault... and, and I drove you away, and I hurt you...and I said all those things to you, and I know I dont talk about my feelings that often but I do know one thing."

Callum stared deeply into Ben's eyes and said gently "What's that?"

With all his heart, Ben then said "I cannot let you walk out of this park, like you walked out of my life 3 weeks ago, without saying this"

Suddenly everything fell quiet and the noise of everyday life didnt phase Ben nor Callum and Ben then said 4 simple, small but powerful words

"I Love You Too"


End file.
